simplicxm started following you

simplicxm:

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        “My name is Patrick. And oddly
         enough I get that a lot. I really
         can’t tell ya pal.”

"….okay. Good. I didn’t want to have to kill you just in case you were some sort of King-clone. You don’t seem like near as much of an asshole as him."

heydickface started following you

thelinksofreason:

heydickface:

 

-he screws up his face in a grimace-like frown, crossing his arms and sighing. Mutters to himself- I used to be able to give you shit… -louder, with a plastic smile- No, ma’am, of course not. -he doesn’t do a good job at hiding his sarcasm-

[Danica just rolls her eyes upwards as he grumbles, shaking her head and sits back more on her chair with her elbow propped up on the arm of the chair and two of her fingers pressed against her temple.] Actually, you used to be better at telling when I was joking.  [She raises her eyebrows expectantly only for her expression to darken somewhat at the sarcasm. Setting her jaw, she purses her lips and quirks a brow as if to say ‘is that really necessary?’.] Don’t do that.

-Huffing a bit, Jarko takes a seat in one of the chairs in the room, frowning- Maybe it’s that bacon whiskey going to my head or something. -he sounds like he’s pouting a bit. Her expression doesn’t deter him, but he does remove the sarcasm from his tone- Right. Fine. -a pause, silence settling- You need anything?

heydickface started following you

ahousebuiltinblood:

heydickface:

ahousebuiltinblood:

heydickface:

ahousebuiltinblood:

"Dump?" You are aware of in whose presence you stand, are you not?

Buddy, if I knew who the fuck you were, I’d probably know you enough to know I don’t like talkin’ to vamps who are still stuck back in whatever era they were turned in. I had enough of the olden days back in the goddamn olden days.

Vamp. You mean vampyr, of course? *cackles low, shaking his head at the man’s ignorance* We are not such simple creatures, you know.

-pauses, trying not to get too angry at the fact that this guy’s assuming so much shit- I dunno, I’d like to think I’m a pretty goddamn simple creature. -shows his fangs- But what do I know, I’m only 200something years old, right, oh high and mighty Old One? -the last bit is dripping in sarcasm-

Such an infant. I saw the Crusades, my son. *smooths his hair, lifting his chin at him* And please, you flatter me. ‘My Lord Magnus’ will be fine.”

Whoopty fuckin’ doo for you. -also dripping in sarcasm- I hear they were pretty shitty. -in actuality, doesn’t really give a crap, nor does he actually know what the Crusades are off the top of his head- Yeah, no. You’re not my lord anything, I don’t have a lord. Closest thing I’ve got is a boss, and you ain’t her.

simplicxm started following you

simplicxm:

heydickface:

……You have got to be fucking with me.

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      “      ……?
       You look like you’re
       gonna be sick.”

Who the fuck are you and why the fuck do you look exactly like the biggest pain in my ass of the century?

simplicxm started following you

……You have got to be fucking with me.

heydickface started following you

thelinksofreason:

heydickface:

-For the barest of moment’s he’s shocked, a bit slackjaw- Hey now, Just a mi— -until he gets that she can’t be serious, which makes him snort- Hey, how come you’re allowed to give me shit about stuff I like, and I’m never allowed to bring up that thing you like that I think is disgusting?

Because, [She continues reading over agreements, seemingly not gracing him with answer.] I’m older, wiser, prettier and I sign your paychecks. [She looks up then, smiling widely and smugly.] Did I leave anything out?

-he screws up his face in a grimace-like frown, crossing his arms and sighing. Mutters to himself- I used to be able to give you shit… -louder, with a plastic smile- No, ma’am, of course not. -he doesn’t do a good job at hiding his sarcasm-

heydickface started following you

ahousebuiltinblood:

heydickface:

ahousebuiltinblood:

heydickface:

ahousebuiltinblood:

Far more ancient than that. *smiles a bit coldly* What is “up” with you?

I didn’t say you were from it, just that you talk like it. -shrugs- Was lookin’ for a good time, thought this dump might be interesting.

"Dump?" You are aware of in whose presence you stand, are you not?

Buddy, if I knew who the fuck you were, I’d probably know you enough to know I don’t like talkin’ to vamps who are still stuck back in whatever era they were turned in. I had enough of the olden days back in the goddamn olden days.

Vamp. You mean vampyr, of course? *cackles low, shaking his head at the man’s ignorance* We are not such simple creatures, you know.

-pauses, trying not to get too angry at the fact that this guy’s assuming so much shit- I dunno, I’d like to think I’m a pretty goddamn simple creature. -shows his fangs- But what do I know, I’m only 200something years old, right, oh high and mighty Old One? -the last bit is dripping in sarcasm-

thelinksofblood:

heydickface:

Okay, first off, ‘speanut butter n’ jelly vodka, and, no. I don’t have any. I still don’t get what the hell your damn problem is with fusion booze. It’s the best damn thing to come out in the past decade, you’re just fuckin’ retarded.

Peanut butter and—nope, no, my mind is rejecting this. Five hundred years, and this is what it took. Congratulations, you son of a bitch. And my problem is just—why? Why mess with a good thing? No way it’s the best thing that’s come out in the last ten years, either. I mean, craft beer, the irony of the slow food movement alone…c’mon. 

Bacon’s good. Whiskey’s good. Bacon Whiskey’s fantastic. Same with PB&J and vodka. They’re both good on their own, but combined, it’s like you’re eatin’, except you’re just gettin’ drunk. Eh, I got sick of beer half a century ago, there’s not much different about it. 

…. Wait, do they make bacon beer? That’d top Mountain Dew vodka.

deamonassassin:

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She finishes the glass in one go, enjoying the burn it left behind. “Works for me.”  Phi turns to the bar, flagging down Cindy to order up. Phi turns her attention back to the blond to her right, giving him a soft smile. “I’m Phoenix, Madame of this lovely establishment.” A hand gestures to the building filled with half naked men and women walking around. “And who, may I ask, are you?”

"Good," he said, letting the smirk stay on his face. His eyebrows raised a bit when she introduced herself as the madame. Jarko had never met a madame, and he was pretty sure they were something like the female version of a pimp, but the kind that kept all their whores in-house, or something like that. "Nice. That’s a pretty cushy job, I bet." What he wouldn’t give to be in charge of making sure a lot of beautiful people paid a lot of money to fuck with people he could control. When asked, he uncrossed his arms, grabbing the drink that was put in front of him and taking a sip before he answered, "Jarko. Grimwood."

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heydickface started following you

ahousebuiltinblood:

heydickface:

ahousebuiltinblood:

heydickface:

ahousebuiltinblood:

*Magnus lifts his head, eyes cold and suspicious* Who disturbs me? *rises from his chair* At this late hour, even.

-crosses his arms and rolls his eyes- You always talk like you’re stuck in the Victorian era? -jerks his head up in greeting- What’s up?

Far more ancient than that. *smiles a bit coldly* What is “up” with you?

I didn’t say you were from it, just that you talk like it. -shrugs- Was lookin’ for a good time, thought this dump might be interesting.

"Dump?" You are aware of in whose presence you stand, are you not?

Buddy, if I knew who the fuck you were, I’d probably know you enough to know I don’t like talkin’ to vamps who are still stuck back in whatever era they were turned in. I had enough of the olden days back in the goddamn olden days.